would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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