I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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