we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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