i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize