Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Randomize