New low: just hacked my moms facebook
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
