this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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