Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
