You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
