two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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