I just made out with a guy for $7.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
