Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
