the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
