Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
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