I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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