Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize