In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
