Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Can Purell be used as lube?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
We need to get me chipped asap
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
