Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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