Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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