And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
