I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
