Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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