I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
My pussy is not your playground.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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