I think I won the penis lottery.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
