and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
