who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
