He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
