and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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