My Higher Power is John Stamos
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
