YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Randomize
