And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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