we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
