Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
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