barbara walters just said penis...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize