I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Randomize
