Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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