Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
