So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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