My pussy is not your playground.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
