oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he fucked my hip out of place.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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