so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
