No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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