I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
