He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
