so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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