So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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