Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
