Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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