Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
