Define "chronic" masturbator.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize