Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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