is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
