As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
