508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
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