areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
