you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
