it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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