I want to make a zoo with you.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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